She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
