Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
