Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
