How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
