Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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