I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize