And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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