i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
