Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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