I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
