you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
