I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I just gift wrapped bread.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
