everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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