i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Randomize
