So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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