I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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