Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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