It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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