help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
