im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
