I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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