please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
