Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize