google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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