She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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