Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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