just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
