i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
