Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
