i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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