No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
