He is an equal opportunity slut.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
