Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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