does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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