in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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