I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
