u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
