if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize