I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wrigley field is MILF paradise
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
