we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
