i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
