Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize
