I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
