So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
