Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
