This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Randomize
