I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
