Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Four minutes until I can fart!
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Randomize
