You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
