dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
