her vagine was all disorganized.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
