It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
