Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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