Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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