she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Randomize
