Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
