SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
