he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
